HELP!!!! Are any of you feeling overwhelmed with the silly season upon us?

I see so many people saying how awful the holiday season is because they feel they don't have the time or energy to accomplish what they want to.

As someone who suffers with chronic pain this is a real biggy..but for everyone I think the following will help.

Spontaneity is not something I can do anymore, everything has to be planned to the last degree. Although not everyone is like this it does help to break the holidays down into smaller portions.

1. Write a list of who you need presents for & if possible email them for ideas.
 If you have a large family a "secret Santa" is a great idea. This is where everyone's name is put in a hat and then everyone pulls one out & that is the person you buy for. Everyone gets a present and it doesn't break the bank. (if you pull out your own name, put it back and draw another). It is best to do this after you have given out the gifts for the year so you have a whole year to keep an eye out for something that might suit the person you are buying for.

2. Shop as much online as you can. You can still buy local and support your local shops, most of them have websites, so you can see if they have what you want and how much and a lot of them will even deliver. If they don't then use the phone and give them a call.
Don't forget gift vouchers are a great idea & don't need wrapping.
If you have a credit card that is part of a rewards program, check out what rewards are available to you, you may be able to get lots of your gifts this way.

3. Wrap one or two presents a day, then it's not a huge chore.

4. Putting up your decorations for Christmas, don't leave it till the 1st Dec and then try to put them all up. Start a week or two before and put up one or two decorations a day.

5. Work out where the celebrations are going to be held. If it's not at your house offer to bring something, make it something that is easy and stress free for you. If it's at your place then ask everyone to bring something so it's not all on you.

6. Try not to do too much on one day, if you have lots of friends and family to visit then make it over a couple of days, some on Christmas Day and some on Boxing Day or even have one side the family for Christmas a week earlier, a lot of people prefer this as they don't have to race from one place to the next all in one day & this is especially good if you have family that live a distance away, you can meet half way and have a celebration.

7. Don't make it complicated. If it is getting stressful and becoming too hard work out ways you can simplify it.

Remember the holidays are about spending time together, relaxing and having fun.

And I would encourage you all to remember the reason for the season.

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What not to say to someone who's grieving

Have you ever had someone close to you lose someone they loved and not known what to do or what to say to them?
I have, a friend who has lost both a son and a husband. I found it so hard to know what to say to her and so I asked her and she told me some things that you SHOULDN'T say, so I thought I would share them with you.
"It's God's will, he knows best"
"You have other children....you should live for them"
"You should keep busy"
"There are other people worse off than you"
"Don't dwell on it"
"They are in a better place"
"They're not suffering anymore"
"I know how you feel" (unless you to have been through exactly what they are going through. ie both lost a partner to cancer.)
"At least you had them for x number of years"

But remember it is better to be there and say the wrong thing occasionally than to stay away.
They need you to be there. You may need to see them or call them every couple of days for many months.

Let people talk, reassure them that everything they say is ok and that they are in a safe environment. Allow them the emotions that come up whatever they are. They don't want to hear about other peoples experiences. They want to be allowed to be in their grief, to feel what they are feeling and know it is okay. They will often repeat the same story over and over again, they need to speak their story until they feel they have really been heard and till they hear themselves telling it. Then they will naturally move to the next stage when they are ready. You can't speed the process along. Even though you may want them to be back to their old self and living life again that won't happen until they are ready. they will never be their old selves, they will be a person who has suffered grief and will be changed by it but they will eventually start to move on with their lives, but they will never be "over" it so don't expect them to be.

You can say you are sorry, that you remember the person, if you do.
Let them talk and let them cry.
Be their friend, let them still be a part of your life, let them know whats going on in your life, even though they may feel sad that life is still going on for everyone else they still want to be included and be told about your life. But don't complain about things that they can no longer do, like buying presents or organizing birthday parties etc.  If you are going to events they would normally be invited to, still invite them. if they don't feel up to it, they will say no. Don't make decisions for them.

I hope this will help you through a difficult time and will help you to help those around you.

Overcoming pain with love, laughter, and help from above!

Do you suffer with chronic pain? Pain that drives you to despair at times, pain that others cannot understand? Have you tried all the medical options and been told. "Sorry we can't help, you'll just have to learn to live with it"? I do, I have severe osteoarthritis and fybromyalgia and am only 47. Yet despite the odds, I have learned to live with it and how to laugh again. Come on the journey with me and I will show you how. It's FREE, and available to each of you. It is not religion or theoretical platitudes, it is real life and what has worked for me.

"Overcoming pain with love, laughter, and help from above!"

When I say these things people look at me very strangely. How do you overcome pain with love?
I can only relate personal experience and from that experience I have come to learn that if we rage against our pain, which is so often the natural thing to do, then it just becomes worse and we become frustrated and angry.
If we can instead look at our pain, especially those of us with chronic pain, as our friend, as someone who is with us all the time. It is a constant companion, so instead, choose to send it love.

When the pain comes, it is trying to tell us that it's crying out to be loved. So send it love.
As you do that you will find that laughter returns to your life because you will see that in spite of the pain you are able to laugh at life knowing that it is your friend, it's not something that you can change, it's not something to get rid of, it's something to embrace. By that I don't mean making it more than it is, I don't mean hanging on to it, I mean letting it go, loving it for what it is, when it's there and when it's not being joyful and happy.
About now I can hear you say, "She's nuts, who would want to embrace pain?" But for a moment keep an open mind while I explain. I am not talking about clinging to pain or making pain a crutch or becoming a hypochondriac, I am talking about chronic pain that is with you all the time and that Doctors and medical science seem so ill equipped to deal with.

As I mentioned in the title, 'help from above', this is NOT religion, this is not ideology or theology, to me 'help from above' is the real help from the universe, from the creator of the universe. All around us in this world there are things that can help us, for me, that help has come from nature. Being out in nature, being able to photograph nature, and to be able to share it with others and to give something back of what has been given to me.
When I take my camera and I absorb myself in taking a photo out in nature, or even when I am sitting at the computer, working on my images, creating the artwork that I do, I become lost in what I am doing and I feel alive again. I feel that I have a purpose, I feel that the pain has given me something beautiful that I would never have found otherwise. At times when the pain becomes so much that I struggle to find the love to give it that it needs, I ask for help from above. I ask that the white light would pour love into that pain and that the pain would be able to step forward into the white light and I hand it over from me to God, or for others, to the universe, to release it and then rest in the arms of love. That to me is who God is, not religion, not theology but pure precious love.
I hope by sharing this with you that you too will be able to find it in yourself to love your pain, to learn to laugh again and when it becomes to much, to call on the love from above to help you get through.

Look for something that is special for you, be it sitting out in nature, be it looking at artwork or doing some yourself. Be it appreciating what others do for us. We each have our own passion. It may be sitting in a garden or sitting on the beach, it may be spending time with family. Whatever it is for you, find that thing and recognize it for what it is. If you struggle with this, then again, ask for help from above, that's how I discovered my photography, I opened myself up to suggestion and said, "Please help me, let me find something that will take me through this journey" and I found my photography.

I encourage you to do the same. Pain can be debilitating, it can be heart breaking, it can be soul destroying, if we allow it to be, but we can turn it around and we can love it, we can know that it is part of us that is hurting, that needs love far more than any other part, so give it that love, listen to the pain, rest when you need to, don't struggle against it, flow with the river instead of fighting against it. and let yourself be free, finally free to be all that you can be.