Suicide, The other side (Part One)

For those who have ever contemplated suicide, lets look at the other side....

Most people who commit suicide think that the world and their family and friends would be better off without them. They often feel they are a burden to those around them. If this is you then let me show you the real burden.

Most of what I am writing comes from reading the memoirs of a friend who has lost someone to suicide and talking to many others who have lost those close to them.

Often we are driven to suicide by pain be it physical, emotional or spiritual. We just want it to end. Our brain can't take it any more....but by releasing ourselves from pain we inflict it on the people who know us and care for us, for the rest of their lives. We often feel people don't care or understand, yet think, if you were dead, who would show up at your funeral. Even if it is only one person, do you want to inflict unending pain on them.

This will give you an insight into that pain...

These are the words of someone who has lost someone they care for, to suicide, “Please help me so that one day I will heal and that the agony will slowly depart. The feeling of emptiness that I feel is truly indescribable as is the intensity of my pain. I am left behind feeling totally rejected.

You may be at peace now, but the turmoil you have left behind is overwhelming. Your death has caused so much pain. I feel I have lost part of myself . Guilt and Fear live with me now. I have lost my self esteem. I doubt myself at every turn. I am no longer confident in many ways.

Sleep is impossible, but I try, I lay there and think over and over WHY???? When I do sleep it's always restless and I hope to wake up and find it was a dream. Of course that doesn't happen and the reality is pain that never stops and tears that seem to go on forever. I aimlessly get about the daily routine achieving nothing and getting nowhere. When you took your life you took ours as well.”

Is this the legacy you want to leave behind for those who care for you.

For most of us the answer to this would be, “No, we want to make life easier for them.”

So this is not the answer. Go and speak to a friend, ring your Doctor and tell him you are feeling suicidal. Don't be afraid to admit it. It is better to get help and to learn to live again than to cause all those around you a lifetime of suffering.

I have been where you are if you are thinking like committing suicide, and I know that no matter how much pain I am suffering or how despondent I may be, that tomorrow is another day and with that comes the hope of something good. I would rather endure my suffering than transfer it to someone I love.

I have also found that even in the midst of pain and suffering we can find happiness and love and hope. I speak from experience as I live with constant pain and yet when I take myself

Looking at this sunset helps relax and soothe me, hope you can enjoy it too.

out in nature and spend time just sitting watching the ocean or a beautiful sunset and I know that life is still worth living.

I still need to ask for help when things become overwhelming, but I know that the inconvenience that this may be to someone is much better than the pain and suffering they would endure if I was gone.

If you would like to connect with me I am on Google+ at https://plus.google.com/105894760755439344491 facebook at http://www.fb.com/Photography.by.Julia.K.Harwood/ and on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/JKHarwood/

I would love to talk to you or you can follow this blog.

How does Nature heal?

Many of you know that my motto is "Bringing the Healing Power of Nature to you", so how can I do that and how does nature heal?

Firstly I speak from personal experience, Nature helps to take us to a place where healing can naturally occur.

How many of you have watched a sunrise or sunset and been moved by it? Did it make you feel better about yourself and better about the day that had just been?

Tropical Sunset

For most of us the answer would be yes. When we see nature at her best, it makes us realise how big the universe is and how small our problems are in comparrison to it. It also takes our focus off ourselves and our issues onto something else and something that is uplifting and rejuvinating.

Studies have proved that spending time in nature improves our sence of wellbeing, our stress levels decrease and our mind, body and spirit and nutured. They have also discovered that even sitting looking at an image of nature will have a similar effect.

For me when I go out in nature I am instantly transported into the now. What that means for me is I don't have to think, "how will I make it through the rest of the day with this pain, life is so hard, can I keep putting one foot in front of another?" to "oh the feel of the sun on my back is so beautiful, the feel of the ocean lapping my feet so refreshing, the smell of the sea air so peaceful".
I can just sit and observe nature and know that all is okay in the world. I look at the flowers with all their beautiful colours and the birds that find the food they need each day and it makes me realize that if God is looking after these things that live for such a short time, how much more does he have my life under control.

No I can't stop the pain or change my circumstances, but for a moment I can think of other things and somehow afterwards I seem to have the extra strength I need, not just to endure life but to know I can even enjoy it.

I want everyone to be able to experience this, even if they live in a dirty city or somewhere where they never have time to find that moment with nature, so I take pictures of nature at her best and you can put them on you wall, on your computer, even on your clothing so you are able to let nature work her magic in your life too.

http://juliakharwood.redbubble.com/

Fibromyalgia and Stress

Research has shown that people with fibromyalgia have much higher ongoing stress levels than normal people.

Experts believe that people with FMS actually suffer from a malfunction in the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) which is the body's primary way to deal with stress.

This then causes the body to secrete hormones that actually further impair the bodies ability to deal with stress.

Virtually any kind of pain is worse when it's accompanied by stress and stress causes a flare up in fibromyalgia, so you can see how people with this disease are part of an never ending circle of pain and stress.

It is imperative that we take action to break this cycle, even if it is only for a short time each day.

The ways we can do this are many and varied and usually require a combination of things.

I will give you a few ideas here. These are of course in addition to your Doctors treatment.

Gentle stretching exercises, walking, meditation, especially before going to bed, gentle swimming, cognitive behavioural Therapy (CBT) and taking time out enjoying nature.

Take time to gaze at Geiki Gorge, a beautiful spot in Australia

 

If you have other things that have worked for you, please add them in the comments section.

JAMERRI ARTISTRY

Ths is a friend of mine and I thought you may like to see her work. This is an intro to her:-

Through my company JAMERRI ARTISTRY, I offer my original artwork, prints, note cards, jewelry, and other items inspired by my artistry. It's my goal to present my unique perspective of a mix of American and other cultures. In addition to my artwork, I offer interactive workshops designed to inspire others to use color in enhancing their everyday lives.

My JAMERI ARTISTRY FB page is www.facebook.com/jameriartistry.
My website is www.JameriArtistry.com

What not to say to someone who's grieving

Have you ever had someone close to you lose someone they loved and not known what to do or what to say to them?
I have, a friend who has lost both a son and a husband. I found it so hard to know what to say to her and so I asked her and she told me some things that you SHOULDN'T say, so I thought I would share them with you.
"It's God's will, he knows best"
"You have other children....you should live for them"
"You should keep busy"
"There are other people worse off than you"
"Don't dwell on it"
"They are in a better place"
"They're not suffering anymore"
"I know how you feel" (unless you to have been through exactly what they are going through. ie both lost a partner to cancer.)
"At least you had them for x number of years"

But remember it is better to be there and say the wrong thing occasionally than to stay away.
They need you to be there. You may need to see them or call them every couple of days for many months.

Let people talk, reassure them that everything they say is ok and that they are in a safe environment. Allow them the emotions that come up whatever they are. They don't want to hear about other peoples experiences. They want to be allowed to be in their grief, to feel what they are feeling and know it is okay. They will often repeat the same story over and over again, they need to speak their story until they feel they have really been heard and till they hear themselves telling it. Then they will naturally move to the next stage when they are ready. You can't speed the process along. Even though you may want them to be back to their old self and living life again that won't happen until they are ready. they will never be their old selves, they will be a person who has suffered grief and will be changed by it but they will eventually start to move on with their lives, but they will never be "over" it so don't expect them to be.

You can say you are sorry, that you remember the person, if you do.
Let them talk and let them cry.
Be their friend, let them still be a part of your life, let them know whats going on in your life, even though they may feel sad that life is still going on for everyone else they still want to be included and be told about your life. But don't complain about things that they can no longer do, like buying presents or organizing birthday parties etc.  If you are going to events they would normally be invited to, still invite them. if they don't feel up to it, they will say no. Don't make decisions for them.

I hope this will help you through a difficult time and will help you to help those around you.

Photo blog of things to be grateful for

For those of you who are interested in the 365 Grateful project, I have uploaded the latest pictures athttp://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150188485753796.324325.135415283795

For those of you who don't know what this is all about, it is finding something to be grateful for, for a whole year. I have chosen to take photos of what I am grateful for. I encourage you to take up the challenge and also look for things to be grateful for.

Soulistry-Artistry

I would like to introduce you to a friend of mine:-
Here's what she had to say:
Would love to have your followers be part of the Soulistry FB page (www.facebook.co​m/soulistry)
Okay - short post ... I'm the Founder and Facilitator of "Soulistry-Arti​stry of the Soul" an umbrella for workshops and retreats and publications that connect spirituality and creativity. "Soulistry-Arti​stry of the Soul: Creative Ways to Nurture Your Spirituality" has just been published and is now available on Amazon etc. To read book reviews, have a look at www.soulistry.c​om/category/boo​kreviews